Hello, Dolly!

I said hello, Dolly......well, hello, Dolly,

It's so nice to have you back where you belong.





You're looking swell, Dolly....I can tell, Dolly,
You're still glowin', you're still crowin', you're still goin' strong.



I feel that room swayin'....while the band is playin'
One of your old favourite songs from way back when.






So, take her wrap, fellas......find her an empty lap, fellas
Dolly will never go away, Dolly will never go away, Dolly will never go away again.

Hello Dolly tea rose
Summer 2010 garden

What's the hullabaloo all about?

Dear Reader:

There is a political war going on in Washington over the research results surrounding recent efforts to find a cause for the illness that has been the bane of my existence for the last 22 years. In 1988, DH and I returned from a conference/personal vacation in Virginia Beach. We both came down with the flu. He got better (he has the immune system of someone from outer space) and I got very sick. Pneumonia, low grade fever, painfully swollen lymph nodes the size of my thumb, brain fog, inability to concentrate, and UNBELIEVABLE fatigue swept over me and lasted for months. I took a sabbatical from my work at the church for 3 months and was finally able to function at a low level, raising my children and going back to part-time work.

The disease has waxed and waned since then. It began to get worse after a series of stressful life events in the years after 2000. I tried partial disability/part-time employment; then returned to work full-time two years later. In 2007, my supervisor, noticing that I was constantly struggling with muscle pain and fatigue offered reduced hours. I went to 70% of normal hours. This allowed me to rest in the afternoons, but things just became worse. Later that year, I began noticing serious errors in the statistical analysis I was doing for my work. I had difficulty remembering research results in front of my customers, and increasing found that I was unable to organize my time and make simple decisions. I began loosing control of my life. I also suffered from headaches, lost my balance easily, and frequently walked into walls. Emotionally, I felt detached and on June 28, 2008 - I lost all hope of ever being able to function.

Those of you who know me know that this is NOT me. I have always been a high achiever. I loved the work I did at ISU. This was not an effort on my part to "get out of having to work!" That day, I admitted myself to the hospital to get some help. Over the next few months, all of the behavioral techniques they attempted to teach me were ones that I had been using for years (and were no longer working). Finally, I got in to see a neurologist and learned after an MRI that I had brain lesions "at such a level as to expect you were looking at the brain scan of a 70 year old woman." I was 58 at the time.

Subsequent testing ruled out multiple sclerosis. I believe I have Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. Researchers at the Whittemore Institute in Nevada have successfully isolated a virus (XMRV) in the blood of a large majority of a cohort of those diagnosed with chronic fatigue/myalgic encephalomylitis (CFS/ME). These results were further duplicated by two other research labs (one of which was Cleveland Clinic). The studies also found XMRV in the blood of nearly 4% of the control group, raising alarms about the potential health of the general population . Since then, 3 countries have issued statements that they will no longer accept donations of blood from patients diagnosed with CFS/ME out of concern for the health of the blood receivers.

There is a researcher at the CDC (William Switzer) who has staked his reputation on CFS being a psychological illness. He has developed a protocol for treatment that is basically a cognitive/behavioral approach. He believes teaching people coping skills and different ways of thinking will return CFS/ME sufferers to good health. Switzer has also probably made quite a bit of money for himself, as well as a highly visible reputation. The study his agency conducted chose to use different procedures to test samples from the Whittemore and (guess what) did not find XMRV in the samples. The paper from his study has recently been published.

Another study using the Whittemore samples was conducted by the National Institute of Health (NIH) and Food & Drug Administration (FDA) DID and find XMRV in a majority of CFS/ME sufferers and in 7% of the control group (non-diagnosed general population) (yes, I said 7%). Their paper was accepted for publication and was in galleys (final stage) when the CDC issued their results. Guess what happened. The CDC paper was allowed to go to publication while the NIH/FDA paper was embargoed (pulled back and not published). Do you sense the politics that are going on here?

So, if you've gotten this far in my blog, and are still interested (and like me, totally angry at the politics of this idiocy), please go to the web address listed below and sign the petition to allow the NIH/FDA paper to be released. There is also a suggested text to send to your federal representatives/any important people in Washington you might want to contact.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for anything you decide to do. I especially covet your prayers for not only myself, but also anyone facing this illness. There are children who have it who cannot get out of bed, they are so weak. I fight it everyday. Some days I have to give in and spend the day in bed. Other days, I go out and try to act normally. The next day I am so tired I can barely move. But life was not meant to be lived in bed. So, even if I have to pay, sometimes I play, knowing what is coming later.

At any rate, thanks for reading/listening!

Here's the web site: http://healthcare.change.org/petitions/view/xmrv_allow_science_to_progress



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It's one with a BIG O

OK, so fess up time. This year on my birthday, my age will have a zero on the end. So, it's like one of those monumental times. Not as bad as my sixteenth birthday, when I decided I didn't want to be 16 (my dad heard me crying in my bedroom, came up, asked me what was wrong, and probably had to stifle a laugh as he ran back down to tell my mother. I am not making this up!).

So, the other day, I'm on Facebook, and I decided that I really don't want anyone to know how old I am. So, I go to my profile and change the date on my birthday to 2010. I get an error message, "You must be at least 13 years of age to participate in Facebook."

OK, bad idea.

Then I had another idea. Why not change the date each year so that I stay 39. So, I put my birth year in as 1969. That was easy, until I told DH about it and he informs me that I actually would be turning 41, not 39, if I leave it at 1969.

So I said, "OK, I'll go back and change it to 1971. Then next year, it will be 1972."

1972 is when Chad, my oldest child was born.

Bad idea.

Guess I'll just have to "woMAN-UP" and confess. I was born in 1950. You do the math!

29 and the beat goes on...

No, this isn't a tribute to Sonny and Cher. Rather, it's a quiet evening and I've just spent a wonderful afternoon and evening with my special man, Richard.

Twenty-nine years ago today, we were married in Indianapolis, IN. It was a quiet family gathering in the chapel of the church where we had met. A soloist sang a Barbara Streisand tune (Evergreen) and a hymn (Be Still My Soul). I paraded in on Richard's arm, accompanied by my dear sisters, who stood up with us. We had readings from Kahil Gibran (The Prophet) and from Ecclesiastes (to everything there is a season). We used vows that we had written ourselves to pledge our love and promise to each other.

We were married by my father (a Methodist minister) and Craig Overmyer, a minister to the singles program where we met. We spent the rest of the day celebrating with family at Richard's house where I had recently moved with my 3 little children. We had Richard's three children that first night, as well as my three. Only a week later, my mother exclaimed on the phone, "Oh my goodness. We probably should have made sure you two were alone that night!" From there, well, it's been a challenge. Most second marriages are.

No actually, it's been a lot of hard work to make this marriage work. Richard and I are both the kind of people who want to stay married forever. We'd both been through divorces about two years before our wedding, mine for my ex's infidelity; his was an agreement between his ex and him that neither were happy (although her infidelity was a feature of that divorce, too.)

Our courtship had been lovely and so exciting. In fact I knew the day I met him that he was someone very special. Within weeks, I felt strongly that God was telling me to take this relationship very seriously. We became friends, then good friends, then....slowly we fell in love. Our decision to marry just seemed to come about naturally (although there was the requisite "will you marry me?" one evening in his family room.) We've shared a lot of hardship - putting six children (literally three sets of twins) together has never, EVER been easy. To this day, he is estranged from his middle daughter and rarely speaks to his youngest daughter. My children see him as a father figure, mostly because he was around all the time and their own father had little time for them.

And, he is a good man. Not perfect, but so giving when he wants to be. Down to earth, SALT of the earth kind of guy. He used to call himself "a country boy" when I met him. But have you ever met a country boy with three degrees? A farmer, turned seed plant manager, turned salesman, turned Extension Program Coordinator, turned quality control technician, now a roof bolter in a limestone mine.

We've been through job loss, bankruptcy, illness, child custody, separation due to job changes. And each of these seems to have just made us stronger. The day I entered the hospital two years ago, emotionally and physically breaking down. I called him, crying, saying I had admitted myself to the hospital and I was petrified. His words to me, "It will be okay, sweetheart! We're going to get through this." He visited me everyday in the hospital and by the time I left, I ached for him and our life together.

So, here's to you, Richard, and our 29 years together. With any luck, we'll both live long enough to get to 30..........and 40..............and maybe even 50. But please know, that you are the love of my life!

Songs of Roses

Les Chansons Des Roses

It is we, perhaps, who proposed
that you replenish your bloom
Enchanted by this charade,
your abundance dared.

You were rich enough to fulfill
Yourself a hundred times over in a single flower,
Such is the state of one who loves...
But you never did think otherwise.

Against whom, rose, have you assumed these thorns?
Is it your too fragile joy that force you to become this armed thing?
But from whom does it protect you, this exaggerated defense?

How many enemies have I lifted from you
Who did not hear it at all.
On the contrary, from summer to autumn
You wound the affection that is given to you.
Overflowing with your dream, flower filled with flowers,

Wet as one who weeps, you bow to the morning.
Your sweet powers which still are sleeping in misty desire,
Unfold these tender forms joining cheeks and breasts.

I have such awareness of your being, perfect rose,
That my will unites you with my heart in celebration.
I breathe you in, rose, as if you were all of life,
And I feel the perfect friend of a perfect friend.

Abandon surrounding abandon, tenderness touching tenderness..
Your oneness endlessly caresses itself, so they say;
Self-caressing through its own clear reflection
Thus you invent the theme of Narcissus fulfilled.
~ Rainier Maria Rilke


(Barbara Streisand tea roses from my garden)

A new addition to the family

Having grandchildren is one of the true joys in my life. Clearly, if it were not for them, this new chapter in my life would be so much less satisfying.

My children have done such a fine job of finding wonderful partners to share their lives. In turn, they have produced the most beautiful grandchildren (and I'm not just prejudiced. I've heard this from several people!).

So, it is with great pride that I announce our latest addition, Weston Cain Ray. Wes was born to my youngest son, Daniel and his wife, Marcy, on Wednesday, June 9 at 2:22 pm. Wes and Momma Marcy arrived home yesterday. Wes' big brother is Jake (pictured with him in the hospital).

I usually try to knit a blanket of some sort for my new grandchildren, although I'm the first to confess that I have not been able to do this for all 19 of them. Work and health have frequently intruded on this goal. I'm happy to say, though, that little Wes did receive his blanket ahead of time (can you believe it? AHEAD of time) this time.

The blanket was knit with Lion Brand Nature's Choice Organic Cotton, pattern is Lion Brand's Vintage Charmer Throw.

The pattern was an easy knit - a stockinette stitch center with a border in seed stitch. I used cotton because Wes lives in North Carolina and is a summer baby. Even with air conditioning on, NC is a very warm and humid place to live in the summer months. So, my hope was that this yarn would be warm without being too warm. And soft! It is SO soft and it washed beautifully, before I sent it off to his Momma and Daddy to await Wes' arrival.

Welcome to the family, Weston Cain. Congratulations, Jacob Theron. Way to go, Dan and Marcy. We love you all!

It's June and it's Friday!

It's Friday, but I don't really feel like TGIF. Richard will be working tomorrow (and possibly Sunday) so it seems the days just run from one into the other. Lots of things to look forward to, though:
1. The birthday of my little grandson, Weston Cain Ray, hopefully any day now in North Carolina. We will be traveling there in a few weeks to welcome him and spend some time with his big brother, Jacob.
2. Troy's wedding in Valparaiso. I have to say, this is one guy who is so shy, I never thought he's get married. But it looks like he's picked a "peach" of a girl. I haven't met her yet, but really looking forward to their big day.
3. Also looking forward to that trip because I plan to bring home three of my favorite little girls, in the whole word (the fourth, already lives here in Iowa). Susanna, Cessa, and Sadie will (hopefully) be meeting us in Valpo and returning home with us for about 1 week. Then we'll make the trip home together on the Amtrak. I'm really looking forward to this. And seeing the rest of the Michigan crew. I hear the youngest, Scarlett, is walking. Hardly seems possible.!
4. My 60th birthday (NOT!)
5. Summer-long project: Ravelry. I am determined to go through the fiber room and get as much as possible entered into R., so that I have a better idea of what I have. This is going to be a MAJOR project. But, in the process, it should help me clean-up and organize the room as well as make decisions about yarns that I no longer want/need. These can be donated to Happy Hands or passed on in some other way.
6. Summer-long project: Organize Christmas knitting and get started.

I think that's enough. Now I'm going to get started (one can only steam clean the kitchen floor so many times).