Friday, December 31, 2010

Goodbye, 2010!

Honestly, where did this year go? And what do I have to show for it?

I've heard that after 50, time goes faster because it's all downhill. Such a negative phrase. In fact, I believe that negativity is one area where I've made some strides this year. Until this year, I never really realized how focused I was on negativity. A dear friend helped me to see this by encouraging me to focus on my blessings. And I do have SO many of those.

In a text titled, "The Return of the Prodigal Son", Henri Nouwen talks about gratitude as a discipline or a choice. "I can choose to be grateful even when my emotions and feelings are still steeped in hurt and resentment. It is amazing how many occasions present themselves in which I can choose gratitude instead of complaint. I can choose to be grateful when I am criticized, even when my heart responds in bitterness. I can choose to speak about goodness and beauty even when my inner eye still looks for someone to accuse or something to call ugly. I can choose to listen to the voices that forgive and to look at the faces that smile, even while I still hear words of revenge and see grimaces of hatred."

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus. Colossians 3: 16-17

I do feel as though I have come a long way in making this change this year. However, I still feel as though I need a transfusion of faith. I have let my relationship with my Lord dwindle away until I have no enthusiasm for it. I want to get it back and yet haven't had the energy or motivation to begin studying, reading, and thinking about this again.

Then, yesterday, my sister Connie told me about a Messianic vocal artist named Marty Goetz. He's been recording and writing for several years and I think I've heard of him . Long story short, I downloaded his album called Sanctuary from I Tunes and there it was...everything I was feeling....in a song titled "Breathe on Me."

The lyrics speak with such clarity on what I've been looking for:

Breathe on Me

The flame in my heart used to blaze with delight

But like sparks that rise into the skies, it vanished in the night

Now I long to once again

Burn for You as I did then

But to even try there’s something I must ask of You

I need You to...

Breathe on me, breathe on me

It’s been so long since the fire within

Burned bright and strong

Breathe on me, breathe on me

Like a gentle breeze, Lord I ask You please

To tenderly breathe on me

Blow, Spirit, blow

Come & fill this weary soul

In Your mercy send a holy wind and ‘til You do

I’ll wait for You to

Breathe on me, breathe on me

It’s been so long since the fire within

Burned bright and strong

Breathe on me, breathe on me

Like a gentle breeze, Lord I ask You please

Won’t You tenderly, breathe on me

It isn’t that I’ve lost my desire

It’s just that what once was a fire has dwindled again

And it needs to be kindled again, so

Breathe on me, breathe on me

It’s been so long since the fire within

Burned bright and strong

Breathe on me, breathe on me

Deep inside I know hiding embers glow

They could grow into a flame for all to see

If You’d only, if You’d only, if You’d only Breathe on Me

Words & Music by Marty Goetz & Wendell Burton

© 1988 Singin’ in the Reign Music/ASCAP - Cross Purpose Music

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