Friday, March 5, 2010

A new beginning; and old ending

The last two years have been a difficult time. Not the MOST difficult, mind you. But, hitting rock bottom, finding out you have the brain of a woman 10-12 years older, that something is literally turning your brain to "mush" has been a challenge. I have SO many health problems and just simply do not understand...why me. But....I've decided that I can no longer look for answers to "why." I can only live in the now, taking each moment, each hour, each day as it comes.

My days have changed so much. I used to spend each day trying to ramp up my courage and stamina to face a day at work, dealing with extreme fatigue, encountering continuing evidence that I just wasn't keeping up. Now, I realize that I should have been listening long, long ago to what my body was telling me. But, for financial and personal reasons, I just did what I always have done (through divorce, financial problems, and other losses). I just kept on pushing through. Not smart.

So, this is where I am. Disabled - legally. At home, with time to rest, time to think, time to pray, time to spend with my grandchildren, time to knit, time to participate in my church, time to thank God for my many, many blessings. Would I have predicted this when I returned to school for my graduate degree years ago. No. Do I accept where I am, now. Yes. Am I scared about the future. Well, a little. But again, I have so much to be thankful for and that's all I'm gonna say about it!

So, the main reason I've begun this blog is to track my knitting escapades and just generally serve as a documentation of how life is going at this point. I've always been hopelessly bad at keeping up with a journal. Perhaps this formal way will command more of my time and attention in the future. Here's hopin'!

So, right now, I have TOO MANY PROJECTS GOING! Ha! That seems to be my mantra. I also have a craft room so cluttered that my cat likes to go in there and hide. Occasionally, she drags out a skein of yarn and plays with it, as if to remind me that I have THAT yarn in there, waiting to be knitted up. This is Lucy, the queen of the household. She's going on 10 years of age and has not lost any of her playfulness, although she can be quite the pest at times.

Back to the knitting. The main projects at this time include:
1. Socks from Bugga yarn for DH's birthday - I've turned the heel on the second sock so I'm closing in.
2. Another (surprise) pair of socks from Skinny Bugga. This yarn arrived today and is gorgeous. DH was a bit unhappy with #1 when he tried them on because they are so thick. So, I'm hoping this second pair will be thin enough to go in his dress shoes. The yarn is a gorgeous variation of blues (on the darker end of the spectrum) and a little burgundy. Can't wait to start but I have to finish #1 (DO NOT START MORE PROJECTS, DO NOT START MORE PROJECTS, DO NOT START MORE PROJECTS...(repeats to self over and over).
3. Angel dress for my grandbaby Lettie. Lettie will be 1 in April and, I have to admit it, I love, love, love to knit for little baby girls. The yarn is a gorgeous soft blue (bamboo and something else) and is knitting up beautifully. The pattern is from Knit One, Crochet Too. It's really challenging me because of my eyes, but I am determined to get this one done!
4. A second helmet liner for charity knitting. Apparently, the military goofed (that's not news) when they ordered helmet liners in acrylic for our military. Acrylic does not absorb moisture and it melts at high temperatures. So, our church knitting group is participating in this effort. I have enough yarn (Bazic in army green) for 4 liners. One is done and a friend will help with one.
5. Dishcloths - I would like to have more on hand for gifts. I have finished 3, but gave two away already.
6. Myriad single socks (yes, I suffer from Second Sock Syndrome).
and on, and on, and on.

But I'm gonna stop there for today. I have to.....go knit, of course!

No comments:

Post a Comment